Set of random thoughts

Again by friend’s request i take the word to say things that daily speech couldn’t really express.

Before putting some order to the chaos prevailing in my mind, i perceived the whole landscape for the next months like a blur of what could turn a memorable feat. After making up my mind the scenario didn’t change that much. It still remains a blur. Either by lack of time or information there are many issues waiting a decent end.

There’s one tiny curious thing i haven’t explained myself yet. I forgot it sometime but now is as clear as in the very first day.  All this years looking for the one i love, a single name has held the virtues and images of her behaviour, her mood, her unique and warm charm, her bizarre yet spotable appereance. A name i hadn’t heard in my life since i thought it would only be to recognize the pearl among the pebbles… A word that summons light, pureness and joy as if heaven would be humbly present in those characters.

Somehow, from time to time, small traces of what i assumed was her path, led me to believe that the one whose name reminds pure white light would be the ultimate partner and receiver of affection. Now that i met the owner, i consider this a good time to stop believing in dreams…

Instead, logic might commence to steer my stride. Culture and knowledge taken away from their places could become powerful allies. This is not about loving trough art but to put the latter at the first’s disposal. Letting experience advise adventure would make an interesting mix that resembles flame and water.

In addition to the pityful drama, there's a heavier grief that came all of a sudden. What seemed to be a solid professional future has become a winding alley. Disappointment of my worshipped noble house adds a gloomy touch to this uncertain forecast. And as if all dooms came from that once magical place, challenges of all types and sizes approach as starving devils looking for a weakened prey, together at once. Am i ready to develop reason to limits their greek parents never imagined? Is it time to launch a service among so many fears? Am i trully giving what i should to the ones i keen on? Should i keep myself away from those that really attract me just because i might get hurted? Perhaps i already have wounds…12 issues from a wide range of topics teamed up so now they are an overwhelming force hard  to tame.

And so my everyday life is as good as never before, but my chances are limited due to my own choices. As somebody told me, one possible reason could be distrust. As if i could lose something worthier than the fuel of life…

Call me mad and i won’t complain, tell me it’s impossible and i’ll try to disprove it, but tell me to love and i’ll say no word to have them ready when a good poem comes…