Worthless

Days like this are the ones that put me to figure out what is the real purpose of high school. In the one hand, there is the academic success, the achievement of goals, the triumph of being the best among the best. In the other hand we have the social part of school. The one that is based on illogical structures, just pending from one single fact: the things you do.

Certainly both of them are based on competitions. We have to admit it; school time is one of the most aggressive periods of life. By nature it spreads teenagers into small hard to join social circles that represent the ultimate challenge for some shy students.

I think that is my case. In spite of being leading around forty students, some of them older than me, I have not really taken myself to the next level. Since I was a child I have faced several disappointments related to friends, family and basically social structures. It is not surprising then that I have grown up with a stronger inclination to isolated places with few people. Now, when I am about to turn a legal adult, I wonder why I can not establish stable social relationships farther than the reach of my sight.

Due to my inclination to solitude I have spent most of my time in academic life. I do not regret the effort I have put on this area, but the whole word of different things that I could have done in addition. Nowadays I would like to go away from mi house, to find out the amazing adventure of friendship beyond trust and commitment, reaching fun and excitement in a whole new level. Unfortunately, the situation with my brother, my parents and their conception of danger and risk apart me from that dream.

Now I feel that I am unveiling a different way to understand things, in which friends and social issues do really matter. The good point of this is that I am trying to become more like I really want to be, considering not only the academic success, but also the social satisfaction, understanding it as the whole of activities that will make me happy and satisfied. The bad point, which is the one that I am experiencing right now, is the unpleasant feeling of loneliness that invades me every time I know there are people that I consider friends, going out with other guys or girls while I am enclosed in my house with my mother just hoping that next time I will be out there enjoying instead of been here writing my own suffer.